Getting Into Character
by ladysnape575
Summary: Zoisite has to dress like Sailor Moon, no matter how much he doesn't want to. He goes to earth and talks to a girl named Usagi who seems to know Sailor Moon to learn more about this champion of justice. One shot! ZoisitexKunzite


Just a quick fic that's been pestering me to be written XD Inspired by a picture I drew of Zoisite and Kunzite. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Zoisite sat on the large, silk covered bed that he and Kunzite shared, rubbing his bare legs woefully. His legs were completely bare. He had shaved his legs for the first time ever, and he was very upset about this.

"I don't like it." The younger shitennou said. Kunzite, who had been observing his lover's sulking from a nearby armchair, gave a slight chuckle. It made the boy look younger.

"I think it suits you, little one." He smiled over the thick tome he had only halfway been absorbed in. Zoisite turned the slightest bit red then turned away and continued to pout.

"I _don't_." He sighed into his knees. This was all Kuzite's fault. No, no it wasn't. It was the senshi's fault.

Zoisite almost had all of the seven crystals in his grasp, but the damn sailor senshi kept getting in his way, them and Tuxedo Kamen. He needed to get at them any way he could, and that involved deception. It was Kunzite who brought up the idea of somehow tricking them into coming to him. Zoisite remembered that they never really did get rid of Nephrite's old things, and he had disguised himself as Tuxedo Kamen before, the costume was probably still in his quarters.

"And then what?" Kunzite had asked. "If we don't know who the senshi are, then we can't get them to come to us. We're not going to do what Nephrite did and send letters to every singe female in the area."

"Maybe if he was in danger?" Zoisite suggested. "Well..." He thought about it again, how were they supposed to get the senshi's attention that way? And a grown man in danger just wasn't as appealing (or for that matter, believable) as a woman.

Kunzite had gone quiet then and looked into space, clearly thinking hard about something. "Alright, that works."

"Dressing up like Tuxedo Kamen?" Zoisite asked, not seeing how that would work.

"Not exactly." Kunzite smiled.

Sailor Moon. Zoisite was supposed to dress up like Sailor Moon and get the attention of the girl herself, and get the crystals from Tuxedo Kamen as well. Zoisite had protested quite loudly, why couldn't a youma do it? Why couldn't they go back to the Tuxedo Kamen plan? Why couldn't they just burn the damn city down one building at a time? But no, Kunzite had already made it final, and Zoisite couldn't say no to him (after a while, that is). Zoisite knew he was feminine and more interested with the aesthetics of things then any of the other generals, but he was still a man and had to draw a line somewhere. That line was right in front of the short pleated skirt.

"Oh," Kunzite said suddenly, snapping the boy out of his thoughts. "I have something for you." He said, standing up.

"Really?" Zoisite sat up straight and clapped his hands together. Kunzite was not the type to give gifts, even on his birthday.

The silver-haired man pulled a big, black box from their cluttered closet and handed it to Zoisite, who had now forgotten all about his legs. Ho opened the lid eagerly, and pulled out...his costume. The smile suddenly slid off his face as he looked the garment over and over. Aside from being much too short...the colors were off. He looked up and Kunzite, who didn't seem to notice Zoisite's disappointment. That, or he was enjoying this torture much too much. Yes, probably that.

"Do you like it?" He asked, smiling. Zoisite was sure that this was all just a lot of fun for the older man. "It was very hard to get made." He added. Zoisite couldn't say anything about it now.

"It'll...do the job." Zoisite managed to get out. He had just spotted the wig that went with it, a bright yellow hairy mess.

"Try it on." Kunzite told him.

"Now?" Zoisite threw the thing down on his lap and looked up at the other man. His face was unwavering, that smile that was very unnaturally pleasant for the usually stoic general. He couldn't escape his fate. "Okay..."

The costume was surprisingly stretchy, though it was rather tight still. With help from Kunzite, he zipped it up and put on the gloves and gaudy (and also off-colored) boots.

"How do I put this on?" He asked, holding up the golden tiara.

"I'm not really sure," Kunzite mused. "Just slip it under the wig, I guess."

"Hmn." Zoisite murmured. He went into the bathroom, on his side where there was a full-length mirror. He instantly cringed, how could those girls wear skirts that short? He pulled and pulled on the skirt, but it was attached to the leotard body and didn't move down an inch. He could see his ass! He could see - well - everything! To make sure that the situation would humiliate him as much as possible, the outfit had fake breasts sewed into the front, permanently hard nipples quite visible. It took every ounce of restraint, will, and a mantra of "this is for Kunzite" to prevent him from ripping the thing off and giving it the worst death that could be given to a garment.

"Well?" He heard Kunzite call. _Well, what?_

"It, um, fits." Zoisite said.

"Make sure you can run and fight in it," The man called back. And how was he supposed to do that? Zoisite started to quickly march back into the bedroom, very ready to just give up. But then he realized...just how quickly it was he was walking. The uniform that he usually wore had pants that could only allow his legs to move so far away from one another. Probably, he could jump much father in this outfit. He stopped and realized that there was...at least one redeeming quality about the outfit. He looked over his shoulder, back into the mirror. After a minute, he sighed and accepted it. It was terrible and the colors were wrong, but it was at least a nice color.

"There," He heard Kunzite say. He looked back in front of him, where the older man was leaning in the doorframe, observing Zoisite observe himself. "You like it at least a little, don't you?"

"A little." Zoisite said, not meeting his eyes. "A very, very little."

"I rather like it," Kunzite said, his voice deeper then it had been. Zoisite looked back up, Kunzite had _that_ look in his eyes.

"You like it?" Zoisite asked slyly. "Or, you like _me_ in it?"

He was met with only a chuckle before he was pulled forward, their bodies quite pressed together. Kunzite's gloved hand gently lifted Zoisite's chin up before their lips we re crashing together fervently.

"Thank you," Kunzite said quietly when they had finally broken apart. "I wouldn't ask you to do something like this is our lives weren't at stake."

"Queen Beryl's getting pretty impatient, isn't she?" Zoisite said. It was something he had put out of his mind as often as he could, but it was very clear that there was a guillotine hovering right above his head and it could drop at any time. If this plan somehow failed...

Kunzite suddenly grasped Zoisite's shoulders roughly, snapping the boy back into reality. He jerked his head up and stared into Kunzite's eyes. There was an amount of concern in his face that was as unnatural as the smiles he had given him to coax him into the costume.

"Sorry," Kunzite said after a moment. "You just looked like you were about to disappear."

Zoisite thought he would start crying right then, and he did feel his eyes get very watery. He couldn't fail this mission, not for any reason. They were going to get the crystals, form the Silver Crystal, and present it to Queen Metallia. "I love you," He said quietly. he two were indeed lovers in every meaning of the word, but those three words were very rarely uttered between the two. "Well," He quickly passed Kunzite and entered the bedroom again. Forcing a coy smile, he looked back over his shoulder, "Will you help me take this off?"

* * *

"What are you doing?" Kunzite murmured into the pillow. His steel eyes were only halfway opened and filled with sleep. Even seven was too early for the highest ranked of the generals.

Zoisite, however, was wide awake, and dressed in normal human clothing. He wore a green turtleneck sweated and some black slacks that had been Jadeite's. His hair was free from his normal ponytail and flowed freely around his shoulders.

"I didn't mean to wake you," The blonde said soothingly. "Go back to sleep, I'll be back later."

"Where're you going?" He asked, rolling over onto his back to get his face out of the pillow.

"Earth. Japan." Zoisite told him. "Just wanted to observe things a bit. Help me get into character."

"What character?" Kunzite groaned. "Wear the costume and jump around and save a cat from a tree and I tie you up and you scream. I think you're capable of doing all of those things convincingly."

"It's not that simple," Zoisite mumbled. "Go back to sleep." He teleported away in a swirl of petals before Kunzite could protest again.

* * *

Zoisite wasn't exactly sure what he was doing himself, but he had to do something, anything to help this mission go as smoothly as possible. But as he sat in the park, watching a few groups of mothers and children, he realized that he had no way of actually finding this Sailor Moon to observe. The human papers mentioned her when something abnormal happened, but never gave details.

However...the answer was right in front of him in the form of a gaudy flier. The media _did_ know quite a bit about Sailor V and how she reacted to enemies. The flier in question advertised an animated movie that had just come out about the sailor warrior herself. Zoisite knew where to teleport next.

* * *

One hour forty-seven minutes, one box of nonpareil candies, and two tissues to wipe away tears later, Zoisite was leaving the theater along with everyone else. He wasn't quite sure if watching the movie had helped him become more like them at all, but it was more enjoyable then he expected. He did learn that the sailor soldiers took on things much bigger then cats in trees, things that would catch the attention of the media. Sailor V was dramatic and beautiful and did things that protected others.

"Not that it matters," Zoisite mumbled. From the group of gabbing thirteen year old boys who sat behind him, he learned that Sailor V actually hadn't been spotted in years. Maybe Sailor Moon and her friends acted differently.

The general walked blindly on the sidewalks, not sure where to go from there. Wasn't anyone in contact with Sailor Moon? No, he was actually more interested in Tuxedo Kamen and his crystals. Would he have to be as foolish as his predecessors and advertise the need for the rainbow crystals? No, that would only lead to more problems.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zoisite noticed a flier taped to a window, similar to the one he had seen advertising the movie. This one was announcing that the building - Crown Arcade - had the Sailor V video game inside. Zoisite wasn't quite sure what a video game was or why Sailor V was in it, but anything that could help...

The man walked through the sliding doors into a building filled with all sorts of huge machines and electronics that were flashing and beeping and singing at him. Zoisite suddenly felt very claustrophobic and wanted to get out as soon as possible.

"Playing the Sailor V game again, eh?" A voice said from across the room. Zoisite turned on heel and saw two people by one of the machines. One of them, a man, was tall and thin, like Jadeite with a longer face and better hair. The other was a young girl in a school uniform sitting at one of the many machines. She was blonde and imitated Sailor Moon's hairstyle. _A fan!_ Zoisite smiled and approached the two.

"Oh, hello!" The man smiled when he saw Zoisite approaching. The girl did not look, instead she was quickly messing with the knobs of the machine and slapping its various buttons. "Are you new around here?"

"Um, yes. My name's, um, Takeshi." Zoisite said, trying to see what Sailor V was doing in the machine. "I wanted to see Sailor V."

"You wanted to..." The man didn't understand what he had said. "Oh, you mean see the movie?"

"The movie's already out?" The girl exclaimed, turning quickly to Zoisite. A loud noise came from the machine she sat out and she whipped her head back to the screen and cried out in dismay. "I almost got past this level, too!"

The man in the apron chuckled. "I have to get back to work on these spreadsheets, Usagi," He told the girl who wasn't really listening. "I'll see you later," He smiled at the back of her head, and passed the smile along to Zoisite before walking off to a room in the back.

"So..." Zoisite was now free to stand behind the girl and look at the pictures. "That's Sailor V?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty fun game. I'm pretty good." The girl named Usagi said. "Did you wanna play?"

"Uh, no." Zoisite said. Usagi turned around and looked at Zoisite, smiling in a very carefree manor. It gave him an unhealthy bit of pleasure to see the young girl blush slightly at his face. "I'm actually, er, lost. So to say."

"What are you looking for?" The girl asked.

"Well, um, I just mover here and I was looking for somewhere fun to go," Zoisite said quickly, thinking of a way to talk to the girl further. She seemed like she would talk to just about anyone, so he was sure he could learn at least some morsel of information that would help. "If you're not busy-"

"Not at all! I'd be glad to help you!" Usagi beamed, leaping up. "Well...then again, I was supposed to go to the shrine...but...oh well! Are you hungry?"

"Sure," Zoisite said, letting her lead him wherever would make her most talkative. Truthfully, he hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day, and the chocolate he had in the theater hadn't really filled him up at all.

"Crown Parlor is right upstairs!" The blonde smiled, leading Zoisite out the door and up the stairs into a restaurant that was about half full. She led him over to a booth and immediately pulled the menu out from the basket at the table's edge, pouring over it. Zoisite followed suite, though he wasn't really sure what half of the food was.

"So..." Zoisite said, trying to start conversation. "You like Sailor V? Do you know a lot about her?"

"She's a warrior of justice," Usagi said, not looking up from the menu. "Do you have any money?"

"Er, sure." Zoisite shrugged. He had found some of the fake bills in the pockets. "Have you met her?"

"Nope," Usagi mumbled. "If I get the cheese fries will you have some?"

"I-I guess." Zoisite said. "You know, your hair looks a lot like Sailor Moon's."

"Huh?" Usagi suddenly looked up from her menu, as if he had started her. "Oh, yeah, it does!" She said, laughing off her shock. "But, it was mine first."

"Did she copy it from you?"

"Yeah, probably." Usagi shrugged. "What are you getting?" Zoisite looked back down at the menu, but still couldn't find anything that looked decent. "I'll order for you," Usagi supplied.

"Thank you," Zoisite said. "It's, um, been a long day. Moving. Do you know Sailor Moon?"

"Know her?" Usagi repeated. Zoisite hoped his face looked innocent. "Well, a few times."

"Really?" Zoisite tried his best just to look impressed. Inside, he was jumping with joy. "I, well, I really look up to her. That's why I moved here, because I wanted to meet her."

"You do?" Usagi seemed very interested in this. "I bet she would be really happy to hear she has a fan!"

"But I don't know a lot about her," Zoisite continued. "Do you?"

"Well..." Usagi was deep in thought. "Um, I know that she wants to protect everyone from danger...and she'll do her best to make her friends happy...and...um...she likes cheese fries?"

"Do you see her often?" Zoisite asked.

"Every now and then. We, um, hang out." Usagi told him.

"Here?" Zoisite asked.

"Sure!" Usagi smiled. "We get lots and lots of food and just talk about stuff!"

"Then let's do that," Zoisite smiled, finding the teen very easy to talk to.

* * *

About an hour later, Zoisite regretted ever saying that. As a general and as a resident of the dark and inhumane Dark Kingdom, he had been trained long ago not to expect very much food at all. His stomach was perfectly satisfied with a small meal twice a day. But all the food that had been brought to them...it would have fed the entire Dark Kingdom and there would have been a few fights over the leftovers. And this girl ate more then half of it. Zoisite was stuffed within ten minutes, but Usagi kept eating and talking, and he couldn't _not_ eat the food before him. How he was not in a coma, he wasn't sure.

Yet, it wasn't entirely a bad experience. He let Usagi talk about whatever - her school, her friends, how much she hated homework - it was all training him how to be more human. Humans really liked money, so he decided that he would stage and then foil a bank robbery. These humans also had a thing for drama, so he would have to stage something where he would be saving someone who was staring death in the face.

And she told him a bit about Sailor Moon, though a lot of it wasn't helpful. It was things he already knew, like about she had saved a bunch of kids at a show, or how she even saved a pair of cats from harm. He knew that all very well, since it was him who was causing the problems there.

And, that eating such great amounts of food was common for Sailor Moon. If that was true, Zoisite would fit the role very well.

But then, as Usagi was finishing off some sort of ice cream-covered sweet, Zoisite asked, "What do you know about Tuxedo Kamen?"

Usagi seemed to blush at this. "He's really handsome," She smiled into her dish.

"How is it that they always work together so well? Him and Sailor Moon?" He asked. "Which one of them decides when to strike?"

"Come again?"

"Well, they work together so well, Tuxedo Kamen always comes out at the right moment for a dramatic effect," He explained.

"They actually don't work together," Usagi said, looking out the window. "I mean, they do, but I - she told me she doesn't know anything about him. But Tuxedo Kamen always saves her, no matter what, like a true prince."

"Always?" Zoisite asked. This was perfect, though in the back of the mind he realized how nice it must be for Sailor Moon to always have someone who loved her by her side to come to her rescue. Kunzite...rarely did this. "No matter what? Even if she was in terrible danger?"

"Always, always!" Usagi beamed. Zoisite giggle, there was a bit of chocolate syrup on the side of her mouth. "What?"

"Here," He took his cloth napkin and lightly rubbed the spot, getting the chocolate off. Usagi simply giggled and blushed. "So, what else does Sailor Moon do? When you hang out, I mean?"

"Well...it's a secret." Usagi said, not meeting his eyes. Zoisite sighed, there had to be more. He had grown fond of the teen in their moments together, he didn't want to have to drag information out of her.

"Are you sure you can't tell me?" Zoisite asked, trying to give her a seductive look. "I just want to know everything about her."

"We don't do that much other then this, actually." She told him. "She's very busy, protecting the world from evil!"

"Oh," Zoisite said, disappointment evident. If that's all she knew...

"Well," Usagi seemed to be scrounging for information. "Hmm. She really...hates carrots?"

An image of Kunzite dressed in a giant carrot suit running up from behind Sailor Moon and scaring her popped into Zoisite's head, and he couldn't have stopped the laughter that came if his life depended on it.

"Hey!" Usagi pouted and crossed her arms. "How is that funny? No one actually likes vegetables!"

"I-I'm sorry!" Zoisite exclaimed, trying to control himself. "I, um, it's just she's so powerful."

"Yeah, I guess it is kind of silly." Usagi said. "But Sailor Moon is still human. She's afraid of things just like everyone else."

Zoisite's laughter stopped suddenly, and he looked the girl straight in the eye. This was the final key he needed. "Like what?"

"Um, you know normal things. Like thunder and lightning, small dark spaces, being forgotten by her friends." Usagi responded, looking back into his green eyes. "In the end, Sailor Moon is just a normal girl who got chosen to be a warrior."

"Hmnh." Zoisite nodded. He hated to think it, but he could relate, sort of. He wasn't quite sure what life he led before he woke up with his fellow generals in the Dark Kingdom, but his role was already given to him and he couldn't escape it.

* * *

The two stayed and chatted a bit more, mostly Usagi doing the talking, before she realized just how late it was getting and said she had to meet some friends.

"It was really nice to meet you, Takeshi!" The blonde smiled before running off down the streets. Zoisite gave a weak wave. Shame, once the Dark Kingdom took over she would be made a slave, if she was not killed. Hopefully, he could find her again and bring her close, make sure she wasn't harmed and treated well. He wouldn't tell her that she had just told him everything he needed to make the perfect plan that would get all of the the crystals. With a final look at the busy city, he teleported away, back to the Dark Kingdom.

* * *

Kunzite was still in bed, reading again, when he returned. He was still unclothed, just the way he had left him.

"Were you lying in bed all day?" Zoisite asked, startling the silver-haired man. "How incredibly lazy of you."

"You were running around Tokyo all day," Kunzite noted, closing the book and standing up. "And I got out of bed to get the book."

"Very good," Zoisite muttered as Kunzite pressed his bare chest against Zoisite and kissed the top of his head. "Welcome back, little one. Have fun?"

"I have the perfect plan!" Zoisite told him. "I met a girl who knew about Sailor Moon and she told me all about her, and things she was afraid of, and that Tuxedo Kamen would come running if she were in danger!"

"Very successful, then." Kunzite nodded. "What an easily manipulated man."

"Is he?" Zoisite said very suddenly. Kunzite looked down at the boy, he knew he ad said something wrong. "I mean, is it wrong that when the person he loves is in danger, he helps her out?"

Kunzite sighed, and pulled Zoisite closer. "This environment." He mumbled. "Fend for yourself and whatnot...you know it's...only you I would go against Beryl for."

"You'll help me, then?" Zoisite asked. "With my plan?"

"I will help you until I breathe my last breath." Kunzite said in nearly a whisper. Zoisite found himself throwing his full weight onto his love, knocking him back onto the bed he had just left.

* * *

Days later, Zoisite was going to the human world, this time in the costume. He had a youma disguised as a human, waiting for the signal to rob the bank. His hair was in a tight ponytail, waiting for the wig, the boots had been zipped and the gloves slipped on...but this time around there was a bit of the problem.

The zipper was having problems going up all the way, going up at all actually. Zoisite was currently half bent over, palms against the wall in a position that any other time would have been quite alluring, but at the moment was awkward and painful. Kunzite stood behind him, trying to fix it.

"You must have made it too small around my shoulders or something!" Zoisite gasped. Breathing was not easy as what was zipped was very very restricting.

"It fit the other day!" Kunzite yelled. "Did you do something to it?"

"We've been in Tokyo this whole time, when could I have done something?" Zoisite nearly shrieked. Kunzite finally stopped tugging, the blonde could feel his eyes on him. "What?"

"...did you gain weight?" He asked after a moment. Zoisite was about to turn around and throttle him, but he suddenly remembered...all the food he had eaten that day. His heart suddenly sunk and his face turned a flush red.

"I...I was just getting into character!"


End file.
